My mom passed away a year ago last September. My dad recently asked me to help clean out my mom's closets. I knew that this would be a difficult and mournful task for him. It turns out that my mom had clothing in every closet of their home. So, I started with her two closets. Then, I moved to my oldest sister's bedroom closet. Last weekend, I emptied most of my second sister's closet. So far, I've taken eight carloads of clothing to Goodwill. I usually spend Sunday mornings with my dad. I work on lesson plans until he arrives home from church, and then we go out to lunch. So, we've now added the closet cleaning component. There are three and a half more packed closets to visit.
I believe that every task teaches a lesson, and as I was taking plastic cleaning bags and hangers from suits, pants, and turtleneck sweaters last Sunday, I thought for a moment about what I've learned.
1. I've learned that I can do difficult things. Emotionally difficult. The clothes smell like my mom. It's really hard when my dad pulls up a chair and watches. He is visibly distressed. I reassure him that the clothing is going to Goodwill, that it will help other people. That there are women in my town who will be happy to wear such nice clothes.
2. I've learned, again, that I'm very sentimental. Certain outfits bring back memories and reflections. It is not easy.
3. I've learned that I like helping.
4. I've learned that it's important to get rid of clothing that you don't wear anymore. Or, when you buy a new outfit, an old one has to go. I started watching Marie Kondo's show on Netflix, to prepare for this task. My mom loved her things. Everything sparked joy. And, buying new things made her happy. I also take pride in my belongings, and enjoy aquiring new possessions. Hopefully, this will teach me to occasionally purge, and to feel less clingy with my beloved "collectables".
5. I've learned that I also hate itchy tags. My mom carefully cut off the tags on all of her clothes. She liked soft, comfortable clothing. I do, too.
6. I've learned that the way to show love, is to serve. Sometimes it's not convenient or pleasant. My mom would not have liked what I'm doing. I joked with my dad that she would have actually wanted a tomb, like a pharaoh, filled with all of her belongings. Before my mom passed away, I cleaned out a bedroom, so that my parents could sleep near each other, but in separate rooms. My mom was furious. I've never seen her so mad. Ever. So, while I know that she wouldn't approve of making her wardrobe disappear, I know that it's helping my dad.
