Leaving the Sally Field Stage

Spending time with the "chronically unhappy" is a nightmare. I have met so many people who just can't figure out how to find satisfaction in their lives. And, because they aren't satisfied with their own lives, they make it a point to pick apart the lives of those around them. They do this to family members, friends, neighbors, or to relative strangers.

And, they do this with a sort of righteous justification. They think that you're the problem, because you're NOT unhappy. They want everyone to partake of their misery. They gossip and tell everyone stories about you. 

Here's the thing that I've learned about the "chronically unhappy". No one really wants to be around them. No one. In conversations, they throw everyone else under the bus, blame never falls on them. So, if you're a friend, or a spouse, or a child, you're going to be criticized constantly. Their love is a kind of self-love, or self-preservation, so everyone else is expendable. 

I often feel like Sally Field when I encounter the "chronically unhappy", because initially, I want to be liked and valued. But, this is a dark crevasse. D-A-R-K. They are awful friends. They backstab at the drop of a hat. Anyone who is willing to throw a husband, wife, or child to the wolves, is not friend material.

So, as an old lady, I have realized that I need to avoid this minefield. It takes a while for me to leave the Sally Field Stage behind. But, with time, I figure things out. The challenge is to just realize that the "chronically unhappy" are sad people. A friend told me that you have to pray for them. You have to pray that they learn to like themselves. Or, pray that they find something in life which brings them personal joy.